#reallife

Tired, weary, crampy feet

She knew they needed a sweet treat.

‘‘Twas found on the recliner seat.

But lo, there was no time

Her mother called from far away

“We have a problem here today”

And so she fell on knees to pray

While her daughter ate her fish.

Her Ford Explorer zoomed to town

Her spirits feeling not so down

She must return shirts to amazon

And groceries and target were her goal

She stopped for lunch at a grocery store 

As far as time- she needed more

But baby M was not impressed

At the choice of its mothers sustenance

The baby inside threw a royal fit

But the momma made it to her appointment.

In one whole piece!! Imagine that!

After target and UPS

She headed home-Home to a mess

A short nap while her daughter napped

(She was still at her nanas-are you surprised at that?)

There was supper to be made and groceries to be put away

But she chose to go out on this hot hot hot day.

Even the chickens today didnt lay.

After all, it was a Monday..

So the housewife escaping the mess

Went outside in this heat and mowed some grass.

The farmer came home

What a nice thing to see

The family ate supper

And rode golf cart with glee

Again the housewife escaped from themaze

The dishes, the groceries, the diapers the CRAZE

but she soon then repented and worked like she should

And now she’s enjoying some time with her brood… (Even tho it’s only two in her brood)

Traditions

I’m glad  the Lord cares about me to give me inspirations! This one strengthened my faith in the Church. 

“Old Daniel of old, he was asked not to pray. To his God up in Heaven in his own usual way…

Usual…. What would’ve been the outcome of Daniel if he would be have prayed like sometimes I’m tempted to do. Or have done before.. “oh God just understand and allow this to pass this time…” “Just let me off easy..” I imagine myself in Daniel’s shoes sighing this prayer as I walk up the steps and pray near my window.. Maybe kneel underneath the window. Low enough to where I cannot be seen.. or Maybe I jus kneel beside my bed. Or don’t kneel at all during the 30 days? 

I don’t know how God would’ve looked at that.  I would’ve still prayed! Sure.!!

But I wouldn’t be giving God myself.. Sometimes I groan and sigh about some of “our” traditions.. and wonder can’t we be less traditional! Or I feel like we are just stuck in a rut.. but this gave me courage to embrace those. Maybe sometimes they need to change. Maybe sometimes we are stuck in a rut. Maybe we do need to think outside the box. I don’t mean to say we don’t. But I want to make sure to take an extra look and make sure that I’m still willing to let God have all of me.

Sean Dietrich

Many of you have asked about our evening last night with Sean! I can’t wait to give you a run down! 

Thanks to the book club members- especially Sharon- for inviting me and getting my ticket! You definitely deserve credit here!

Also thanks to my dear parents in law for watching my baby! And also my husband to finished the evening out with her!

The Monroville Library had asked Sean to come speak at the Old Courthouse Museum(because the library had not enough room) for the 95th year celebration!

We carpooled. Drove to Monroville. And ate supper at the Mockingbird cafe.. (I think that’s what it was called!) Some of the food was great, like the fried pickles- some not so good, like Gloria’s grilled “chicken breast”, or what was it? The food was affordable tho and we decided that to be able to make it affordable,  they backed off on running the A.C. I wouldn’t give it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️  But I’d definitely go back! 

We must’ve been Sean fans because the doors to the courthouse didn’t open until 6:30, but we were there at 5:45! It payed off tho and we got great seats!! I personally sat on the second bench in the isle!! That was five star!

 Finally the long awaited Sean Dietrich appeared! It felt unreal. Unbelievable that I! Me! Was here! It wasn’t a dream.. but was FOR REAL! Needless to say I was pumped! The crowd erupted with clapping and he proceeded to sing awhile! Very very enjoyable to listen to! Hilarious most of the time! He talked for close to an hour. Some singing with the crowd singing along with him. I wasn’t sure if we sang all the songs as slow as Southern Baptist do or not?! But at least we all sang together! And then best of alllllllllllllllllllll best we got to meat him and talk to him! Totally the Best part of this year yet! I’m so glad we were close to the last of the line so we could chat awhile and not feel too rushed! And what do you even say to him? For sure in a group? But it all turned out so much better than I imagined! And you know what? I’m more of a Sean fan than ever before!

Ahemmmm.. he thanked me for laughing at his jokes🫣 and also signed my book thanks for laughing! He said he could count on me🙈 little embarrassed but I am who I am.. and mom and dad?! Didn’t you try to get me laugh quieter all my growing up years? Yeah! I’m sorry I failed last night!

Earth-sided vision

I saw it. The pain in your eyes. And it shot a dagger through my very soul. The part of you that wanted to stay. Because you had so much to see yet. So much to do. . 

 I know you would’ve liked to see all your grands and great grands live life in their prime. I, by watching you, felt that pain somewhere to. 

But what’s it like from the other side.?

I believe Heaven is all and more that you ever missed out on here. And I’m so glad you’re free from pain, free from sadness, free from all your hard times.

 But I only see it from this side and I wish I could go back and do some things differently. And all the good times we had? Yeah, I wish I would’ve known what I had then. 

 Often when my day is fraught with seeming failure, I wonder if you can see me trying my best? It spurs me on to continue with this journey and gives me courage because I know you want us and our little ones in Heaven with you someday. 

Anger, fear and frustration want to boil inside me at times and I don’t understand why. Why all the grief in the world.. why? We serve an Almighty God and He could reach down and in one touch- one word- one motion- heal. Mend broken hearts right now. Cure cancer. Reverse ugly diseases.. 

But then I remember that this Almighty is the one that continues to love me when I doubt Him. Continues to wrap His arms around me when I’m angry. Continues to wait with me in the hallway as I’m waiting for direction as to where to from here. And He continues to lead me. On and on. Some days are pleasant and I praise him. Other days I almost forget that He’s in control..  And no. I still don’t know why He chooses to heal some and others continue to be ill. But I must choose to leave it. Choose to trust that His ways are truly better than mine.

Happy New Year

A few of my friends from here have inspired me to have a word of the year. Aka #woty..

       This can be a word/phrase that’s been impressive to you- or maybe it’s something that you feel is lacking in your life.. 

   Last year my woty was REST. It was something I desperately needed! And it was fun to practice it!! 

    This year it is contentment.. I’ve really felt a lack of it lately. Without this I am grouchy. I see what other people have or do and I feel like my life is below the mark and there’s no way to be happy..  If only my yard was landscaped like so and so, I could drive in my driveway and feel accomplished.. 

  If only my house was cleaner I could be more relaxed. 

  If only I could work as hard and be as efficient like “she”was than my life would feel complete.. but no. I’m still Erica. And I can try really hard to be like “her” but not without great tribulation.. 

The Lord has been speaking to me and inspiring me with how happy I can make my home/husband/child if I can be content with what I have and make the best out of it.

 And it really does work! I can keep up the landscaping I do have.. I can make the most out of my little house by doing the laundry and keeping it tidy.! And even tho it doesn’t have the modern touch of coziness that “her” house does it still can be a happy home! 

I can work to the best of my ability- limiting screen time and trying to be efficient and then feel good about it because I’ve tried my best! 

I think God loves to abide in homes where there is contentment. For me- contentment brings peace. And peace is what this world desperately needs!

like the little child’s book that says “Whatever your home, it is happy indeed. If you love what you have , and you have what you need!

I challenge you! Choose yourself a WOTY and practice it! It’s fun! Bonus points if you tell me what it is!

I Live Here

In the maze of popcorn

Of toys and spilled sweet tea.

When my nerves are frazzled 

And the floor is hard to see

When my burdens heavy

And my work is rarely done

When the little girl You gave us

Need needs attention from her mom

When my Christmas gifts aren’t wrapped

And Christmas is very close

When a story’s more important 

Than a floor that’s clean and it shows.

Help me Lord to jus remember

That you are ever near

Help Lord to slow my pace

And help me find You here

For I know that You live here

I’ve felt Your presence near

Catching me before I fall

Into a tantrum or a fear 

And thank you Lord, that you don’t care what my house looks like or if my floor is clean,or book works done, or gifts wrapped as long as I’m trying my best!

Thank you Lord for living here!

Air Mail to Heaven

“One step at a time, walking with Jesus, one step at a time with His hand in mind. Though the road is rough, winding and so rugged. I will make it home. One step at a time.”

Did you hear them sing it? Did you know the emotions that flew through my mind… the memories? Was it pretty? Is it still your theme song? Do the angels sing it for you? Maybe you sing it now! I feel almost abit bitter tonight and I know it will pass. But I don’t like change. Never hav. And this is such a big one. Why? I know they say cancer never wins but sometimes I wanna fight that to. But I know in the light of eternity, cancer didn’t win. You did! You always liked to win. Or I think you did! And you ran a good race. And you won. You beat us all to Heaven! And you got a blue ribbon.. Sometimes the healing for everyone involved seems long but  like your song says“with His hand in mine- I can face the future. With his hand in mine- He will bear the load. Then some day I’ll reach Heavens shining portals one step at a time He will guide me home.” And I know he will. We sensed Him guiding you home and the submission you had. So we will submit to.. alright.. it’s getting late here on earth and we get tired down here.. good night.

I promise♥️

A Step Above

“Oh punkin- so many things to learn. Hope your day is good” My phone alerts me with this message. “Hmmmph” I sigh. “Yeah, this punkin does have a lot to learn.” And good luck on my day. Getting pedicures with a toddler? Who has ever been so stupid? Why can’t we just leave the kids. Why can’t I just have a day out? Why can’t I just stay home? Why? Who even cares about birthdays?” And the rant goes on and on. Torrents of anger spew out on paper like rain from hurricane ida. Suddenly, I see it as selfish, all these “I deserve more sleep- I don’t deserve these storms to keep me awake at night- I deserve a day out- I deserve to feel better” attitudes. And maybe it is my turn to feel better maybe not. Maybe my body is screaming for more sleep, maybe things haven’t gone my way for awhile- but finally has life went your way lately? Didn’t think so. I must remember today that this is the child I prayed for. God created her- like all of us- with unique needs. I am privileged to be her mother. I will pack that diaper bag to the gills- and I’ll hold my head up high when I pull out the 3rd bottle of milk for my one year old and it’s only 2:33 pm. 

And I’ll ask to stop for coffee because self love is important to!♥️

As always a disclaimer. Day went absolutely fabulous! Couldn’t ask for anything better! 

A year of thanksgiving

A year ago- I wondered who my baby girl would be. And what would it feel like for her to be ours? 

And now- I know. She’s our tornado- and she’s loved for every bit that she is. I feel very unworthy for all the blessing the last year has been.. and for all who have been a blessing in helping us get through it. Not every minute of it would I want to re-live. But it has been so good.

And I feel like God is the giver of these blessings.

He’s blessed us with a supportive “village” we could have not done without.

A huge thank you to Big daddy and Nana. To being the BEST neighbors a girl could ask for. Thanks for giving me/us breaks from Summer. Has helped my mental capacity tremendously. Thanks for coming over into a house that the floor sometimes can hardly be seen.. for vacuuming. For washing dishes, for folding laundry.. y’all are the best.!♥️ 

And thanks for your unconditional love.

Thanks to Pops and Mimi- you can’t be here always like we’d like but your prayers for the cause has given me strength probably only God knows. And thanks for the times you have come- and have babysat like at the lake! Thanks for you unconditional love ❤️ 

 

A shoutout to all our siblings and friends.. for your willingness to hang out with us. And having high maintenance kids along with us. And for loving the little children♥️ 

We still need your advice and love! I truly believe it does take a village to raise a child! Thanks for being a part of ours!🤍

Four years♥️

Four years and a “Summer” later I’m thinking… 

Reminiscing about an awesome weekend! A Saturday night supper in MY gym!😜😜 surrounded by MY people!  My world was smaller then.. and throughout these four years his people have become mine… sometimes I am sad at the change.. I look back to being ‘footloose and fancy free’ and hanging out with my youth friends and it is fondest memories! Can’t believe four years can fly by so fast.! I’m so thankful for MY people. (Those of you who tutored me through my 18 years in MS) you are loved and thought of often.. never ever forgotten.. and I’m thankful for my people now.. I’m glad I learned to know you! 

Tomorrow is our anniversary thus the thinking.!

If you have a memory of our wedding you should comment with it or send it to me! 

because I’d love to hear from you 

Jus a note to close! My day today was no way like it was ‘back then’ on my Saturday night supper.

a child tryin to climb out of the tub with a snotty nose

. A house job. An almost (or was it closer than that) run out of gas in my explorer on the way to a house job experience! ( Fords can go a ways on 0 miles to empty)🙈

 a spilled drink.. 

wiping up Cheerios and squash and chicken and yogurt off the floor.

A child who was happy but didn’t want to sleep and therefore her mother(who needed sleep badly) sacrificed a good nap. 

And jus things like that.!

But I was happy then. And I’m happy now!

Climbing efficiently

We all have a ladder to climb. We all have a destination to reach. And we all have baggage. Some have heavier packs. Some have awkward satchels. Some seem necessary some don’t. And some people seem to have their ‘fair share’ of a heavy load.

Some people climb with ease and efficiency, some, weakened and frazzled, barely have the strength to climb to the next rung.

On this climbing journey we are all trying to grow- spiritually and emotionally.

Yesterday my mind was heavy with all the burdens my friends and acquaintances seemed to be carrying. It wanted to deter me from my work. From concentrating on my family and the place where God had planted me. I messaged my mom. “I know these aren’t my burdens to carry, but I feel so bad. I know i jus need to let go. To keep my mind in my boat, but still.” 

She assured me I was right. And it wasn’t helping their burdens by feeling bad. Sure I could pray- and I should pray- but then leave it with God. It didn’t need to swamp me.

This morning I was sweeping and this whole conversation came floating through my mind again. And with it this thought.

You can’t hold on to these things and climb. Oh…. Right… these things aren’t mine. And they do hinder my climbing. There’s no grace for me to carry these.

I knew God wanted these “burdens”  I was carrying. Because His will is pure, and He knows best. I found freedom in that. And was thankful I serve a God that is willing to help me. 

Happy climbing♥️

Crazy about Clearwater

 Clearwater Florida

 Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it was the time of life we were in... maybe it’s true love.. I don’t know.. but I love this place.. 

it was the honeymoon destination for us.. and it was jus as lovely on the return visit a few summers ago!! And how I long to again exit reality and enter  this place so freeing to me.. sunshine- parasails- food- surf shops. Street performers and sunsets.. beautiful sunsets.. straight over the water sunsets.. awwww.. kids and families and newlyweds- foreigners and home folks alike. Cartoonists.. is that what they’re called?! People who make cartoons out of your drawings? Bikers and walkers and drivers and golf carts and funny cars..

You see it all.. I miss it.. It’s not for everyone.. not everyone likes crowded beaches and the hub of city life.. but something about Clearwater is addicting... it’s a place I go home with a hangover.. it’s a place I get an awful hankering for.. it’s a place I get drunk on..

Disclaimer.. I don’t mean alcohol drunk..  I’ve never been there! Clearwater drunk is the healthiest drunk out there!

Worth it All

  Worth it all. Worth it all- Heaven will be worth it all. Worth it all- worth it all- Someday. Heaven will be worth it all.🎶

Sometimes i hesitate to write or think about Heaven.. because of my fears that I’ll die and then everyone looking back will say- oh yeah. See God was preparing her.. but tonight I am gonna write because I don’t believe we serve a God like that.. 

            I choose to believe in a God that gives us glimpses into His eternal glory because of Love.. because He doesn’t want us to fear Heaven.. tonight as I was getting ready for bed the above song was on my mind. And I’m so thankful for the touch that God gave me.. Worth it all.. worth it all Heaven will be worth it all..

Worth all the busy weeks when we struggled to keep our heads above water... 

Worth all the times mamas choose happiness of the kids over the cleanliness of the hut.

Worth all the times we’ve bowed  our heads and asked God  to forgive us for saying the one too many things.

Worth all the effort time and money we have put  into ourselves to become a better me (in the right way) so we can become better for our families.

Worth all the noses we’ve wiped the times we’ve said “no” or the times even we’ve said “yes” and added yet another thing to our schedule.. 

worth all the confused tears..

Worth all the emotions-all the times I’ve not even been able to say how my heart feels because well— it’s too lumpy and awkward to try to tell..

Worth it all to me- because of the rest that will be there.

Sometimes our hearts are just not at home here... somewhere there is a longing that cannot be reached- cannot be identified. Don’t you think that that is Heaven tugging?!.. I don’t know..  this post was not long thought of...  but I appreciate the glimpse God gave me of how it WILL be worth it all... 

Thankful Thursday

 Jus a farm girl. Thankful for green tractors-dust and Arby’s.Thankful for farmers and farmers babies♥️ Thankful that there’s peace abounding great in bad days. Thankful for cows milk-fresh is always best- thankful for the suns  heat rays.. finally feeling like sultry hot summers on his way.. which I mostly love! I’m thankful for sunsets and Ford explorers. I’m thankful for sisters. And Mimi’s and Nana’s. For diet Coke’s and baby Tylenol... mostly I’m greatful for rest. God’s Rest..

Every day may not be good- but there’s something good in every day... 

Whose counting?

Whose counting?

She noticed he was eyeing the cake. “Have another piece” she offered graciously. He declined adding that he’d had one already. “Whose counting?” And with that question he took the piece.

“Whose counting?” Often times I feel bad for wanting peace. For wanting a total assurance of sins forgiven... but do I tell my Saviour!? No- for I sinned yesterday and He forgave me then. Or helped with a problem jus 5 minutes ago!    “Whose counting?” I hear Him ask? I’ve got bottomless “cake” to cover your hunger... it doesn’t matter if you’ve had 75 “pieces” today already.. I’m not counting and you don’t need to either...

Perfection at its Finest

What is perfection? A perfect life. Well no, not perfect- normal life struggles but a perfect attitude. One that takes life in stride and with chin up- never gives in to defeat? A life that’s even? No highs- no lows. Never angry? Never anxious. Never would let in to a bad day. For we can conquer it right? 

Perfection.... human.... does it mix? Well I think it does.. a perfect human is a fallible one still. A perfect human accepts Gods grace is there for him. A perfect human is prone to bad days- for we are human after all. But a perfect human admits them. He cries out to Gods grace AGAIN. He accepts he can’t do it by himself. He cries out to his friends.. asking them to fall down on there knees on interception for his struggle. A perfect human is vulnerable. For only when we become imperfect can we allow Gods grace to complete us to perfection.