Divine Love

Effort

I chose effort as my 2024 word of the year. I hope to put more effort into life and in giving of myself. Too many times I expect a great life to happen without effort. And then I’m disappointed with the results.

The day Jace and I got engaged the Lord gave me message in song that He’s regifted many times to me. And I feel unworthy.. 

“Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were a present far too small. Love so amazing, so divine, demands my life, my soul, my all.” *

    I don’t know how to put into words how this song makes me feel. 

Eternally grateful. Humbled. And mostly in awe. At my Creator. For the man He gave me. How did He know that Jace would be life itself to me? And Summer and Saylor.. Truly, they demand my life, my soul, my all. But He often reminds me, “Love so amazing, so divine demands my all.” He emphasizes that it is demanding but it’s because of a great gift. And I feel humbled again. Serving my family seems as a privilege instead of a job. 

…And I never can thank You half enough.🎶🎵

*Christian Hymnal 113

One Who has my back

One Who has my back

In the darkness that confines me

In the silence that shouts back

In the never ending questions 

There is One who has my back.

He doesn’t say much, He’s just there

It’s uncomfortable somewhat to me

For I want answers, light, direction 

A path that’s plain enough to see

Instead He sits there with me.

It’s still dark and panicky

And then One word from Jesus

“Just sit still down here with Me”

So on a park bench underground,

Awaiting the right train on track

I choose to sit down here with Jesus 

He’s the One who has my back.

I envision myself waiting at a subway station. It’s pitch black because the lights aren’t on. I see train after train zoom by and I reach for my pack ready to hop on. “We can’t stay here!” I tell Jesus. “This isn’t working.” I say. But He pulls me back to the old park bench and puts His hand around my shoulder. “That’s not the right one yet” and so again I’m sitting in silence with Jesus… maybe sometime our train will come in. Maybe someday answers will come. Maybe someday life won’t be as heavy.. I don’t know… I haven’t been willing to sit quietly in darkness. But I want to try..  I trust the Maker of darkness and light.

Written in weakness. Thanks to many prayers life is lighter and brighter!